oh Durian

Musim durian kali ni lain daripada yang sebelum ni..ini xde kena mengena dengan peralihan waktu musim atau penemuan durian sebesar gajah..tapi yang pelik kali ni ialah 'aku'..nak tau kena baca sampai habis..

start bulan jun tahun ni, berlonggok2 durian dijual di tepi jalan dan di pasar malam..aku tengok jadi teringin la jugak..tapi masalahnye xde member gile durian yg boleh aku pau seulas dua..sebab aku xde la gila sampai nak beli sebijik makan sensorg..so kalau lalu je tepi org jual durian aku tengok aje la..

ye aku memang bukan hantu durian..kalau makan pon sekali hadap paling banyak 3 ulas je..tiap kali papa bwk balik dari kebun dulu, yang selalu perhabiskan cuma adik bongsu aku n mama..diorg paling suka durian dlm famili..n tiap kali ade durian diorg slalu tanye, "cukup ke?habis nanti jgn menyesal" memang aku x menyesal....

tahun ni, aku p field trip buat keje kat kebun kelapa sawit..kebetulan kebun tu ade pokok durian skali..so, sampai2 je, owner kebun tu p kutip durian yg dah gugur and kopek kat situ jugak..jadi breakfast aku la di pagi hari..tgh2 lapar makan durian..n surprisingly, boleh pulak aku telan satu per satu ulas non-stop sampai la x nampak isi lagi kat pangsa2 durian tu..mungkin sebab lapar..mungkin juga nikmat makan di dalam kebun beramai2..ape2 pon kali ni aku makan byk drp biasa..

best jugak sbenanye dpt p field trip tu..makan durian n dgr durian jatuh..yg xleh nak lupa masa p kat satu pokok sawit ni yg btol2 bwh pokok durian..lepas beredar dari pokok tu, baru je jalan dalam 10 meter 'duuuppp!' jatuh sebijik kat spot yang sama aku berdiri tu..alhamdulillah, nasib la x jatuh masa aku berdiri kat situ..kalau x 'masok paper Metro Harian' la bak kata Dr H..

selepas selesai keje aku kt situ, owner kebun tu bwk la kitorg p kat umah sorg owner kebun yg len..p beli durian selonggok utk kitorg bwk balik..

mula2 igt xmau amik, tp bos dah soh amik 2 bijik aku bwk je la p lab aku..offer kat Lincoln mamat pakistan labmate..muka dia sgt excited mula2 sbab dia crita ade kwn dia habaq pasal durian, "it smells like hell but tastes like heaven"..so, masa aku dh kopek durian guna sudu besi, mula2 dia x reti camne nak amik seulas durian tu..dia igt leh amik kecik, aku perhati je la dia amik sudu aku p kaut yg kat hujung sikit..rase nk tergelak tgk mamat tu terkulat2 mase makan..haha dia x suka rasa durian rupenye!pastu aku tunjuk cara nak amik seulas, amik ko besar gile seulas tu..pastu dia dah sentuh satu aku paksa amik makan yg dh disentuh tu..hampa btol mamat tu merasa durian yg x sesedap yg disangka..then sebijik tu aku n labmate lg sorg la perabiskan sbab mmg tinggal kitorg je dlm lab time tu..

satu lagi aku bwk balik bilik, makan lg 3 ulas pastu yg selebihnye aku masukkan dlm tupperware utk bwk balik kampung the next day...x terkira la bape byk durian aku makan hari tu..nak tido pon susah sbab panas gile badan mcm org demam..sedar2 dr tido pon badan panas lagi..first time melantak durian sampai panas badan...

balik2 kampung, the next day parents aku beli durian yg dah kopek isi kuning..sedap berlemak, aku melantak lagi..a day after tu parents aku beli lagi durian kampung 9 bijik..melantak lagi..so, 4 hari berturut2 kenduri durian..mmg lain drp kebiasaan lah utk aku..buang tebiat melantak durian pulak..

Silent Rain

I was busy writing n running program, n when i looked out the window it was raining..didn't hear any sound of rain..it was silence..the birds were chirping and the sky was blue..that's how i didn't realize that it's raining...

people will always keep asking 'how are u', 'how's study', 'how's health'...blabla...n the answer would always be: 'i'm doin great' to keep it short..

how great?u could see how much free time there was going here n there, eating good food everywhere, gossiping with friends, doing new things, shopping at the mall, the unneeded of a doctor, calming face while doing work..etc..

the feeling of giving up everytime no solution is yet to be seen...??let it be like the silent rain...n hope that it'll stop someday

Trust Me I'm a Student

same old...same old...been meaning to write a new entry a while ago..but busy getting used to a new environment..well, not really 'new' new; it's kind of a visit to the past..way back like almost a decade ago: HOSTEL LIFE......

oh yeah, i'm no longer a working lady for the next 2 years(insyaAllah), so hello to being a student!at first i was sceptical about living in a hostel after comfortably living in a rented house..but then here i am in a crappy room, making myself comfortable....

the first day i got my room's key, went to check it out..it's a 3rd floor's twin sharing room..semput!~my roomate wasn't there on that day..while stepping in, i almost cried looking at the thickness of dusts everywhere..they're like inches of dusts under the bed, in the metal cupboard, and around the study table..well, didn't i mention that the person i replace left the room only a few hours before i came in??the room was like being left for yearsss!!!my mom laughed looking at my expression..then she was wondering what my roomate will be like..she guessed that my roomate would be chubby and fat; she peeked at some hanging clothes and saw the size: XL, then she saw some boxes of biscuits under the table..haha, so funny la...

so that night, i decided to sleep over at my friend's while thinking how i should start cleaning my place..the next day, came to a meeting then off to KL, still wondering what kind of roomate i would have...

on the weekend, i decided to pack up my stuff and drive for 5 hours to the university..met my roomate for the first time..my mom's guessing was not true..my roomate is just about my size, and she's a nice person too..i'm glad to have such nice roomate :) ..so then i started cleaning up...so surprised about how thick the dusts were..it took me like 3 hrs to get rid of them..it went with lots of sneezing and itching on my skin..felt like i'm breathing normally again after the cleaning session..then it took me almost an hour to unpack my stuff...then a hostel life has began.....

funny that i'm able to wake up very early everyday...and, not owning a washing machine here, i'm able to wash my own clothes...what a surprise..it's a great workout as well..i'm also trying to discipline myself, setting up 9am-5pm Mon-Thurs as my study days..while weekend Fri-Sun...glad having flexible time here since i'm doing research; no class at all..so need to plan each day on what i should do..i also need to set goals for each month, so that i could take a week leave each month if the goals are reached in 3 weeks time...hope that i can finish up my studies in two years or less...fingers crossed!!~

The Craps are Back

fuh~
it's been a while since i last posted an entry here..
so dusty that i have to sweep it away.....

I'm sooo happy today since my work for the semester has been done..It's quite a stressful semester since I got my teaching assignment at the very last minute; added burden: there's no references from the previous lecturers! hence that made my whole 4 months of last minute and HARD work..very2 tiring but I'm glad that I went through it well...and thank God no student fail which made my work easier..ho yeah~

some ppl were asking about my decision of previous entry..so here it is.....
why do i choose to stay instead of taking the last job offer that I got???
to tell the truth, I already feel comfortable being where I am now..and the possibility to be posted somewhere far away from home is high if I took the job..so that's why I decided to stay..the part which I don't like doing research is because of fear of the 'unknown'..therefore, there's no harm trying and learn to love it..it could be enjoyable..it is very challenging, but i need to tell myself that it's never impossible..lotsa ppl can do it, why don't i???~no nagging anymore...coz I read in some book that u will never be happy if u always questioning about what u r doing with what u should have been doing...be thankful of each second of ur life..the past is already gone, future is unknown, and today is all that u have....

In hadith, Rasulullah saw said:"Strive for that which will benefit u, seek help from Allah, don't be weak n don't say: If I had done such n such, the situation would be such n such. But say: Allah has decreed n what He wishes, He does."

Lack of Focus

Kalo kat dlm crowd of people or somewhere yg ade ramai orang, aku nih memang fail kalo nak recognize orang..nak cari org yg dikenali pon kadang2 melilau2 mata aku..padahal kat depan aku je..silap2 org sbelah pon aku x prasan...rase macam camera aku nye focus tu lagi hebat dari mata aku sendiri...

al-kisahnye smalam naik bas nak blk kuantan..aku dok kat seat blakang sket..then aku dudok la..masa bas nak jln aku lambai2 tgn aku cam dak kecik kat parents aku..pastu aku terperasan from the corner of my eye a guy depan aku toleh 2 or 3 kali kat aku..tapi x tau la sape..kalo knal maybe die dh tegor aku..being an ignorant, aku buat xtau je la coz bila aku try pandang blk org tu die dah toleh ke depan smula...

even kat perhentian R&R even though aku kuar msok bas pon x prasan lagi org tuh..

sampai la bila bas tu dh nk sampai ke destinasi aku nk turun..org tu toleh n tegur aku.."miss, tron kat mane miss?miss mmg org kl eh?" omg..out of all ppl i know nape la student aku yg naik satu bas..

so, the conclusion is, kalo sesape yg terserempak ngan aku kat mane2 kalo aku wat bodo meaning aku xtau pon kewujudan korg kat situ..bukannye sombong k..so, kalo terserempak tu, korang tegur la dulu.tu pon kalo nak aku realize korg kat situ, kalo x, biarkan saje aku begitu.......

A great opportunity????

Refer to the previous entry...well, yeah i don't think research is my cup of tea..i have tried to learn n love my current job..yes, i love my current job..but how bout my future job(a step ahead)???sometimes i wonder am i heading to the right path, i mean do i have the 'right' job for me???i know that 'rezeki ada di mana-mana' and 'when there's a will, there's a way'..so, am i willing take another path besides the one that i'm taking right now????

received an offer letter today to another job..it doesn't require me to further study or publish journals, but the job scope and 'tangga gaji' is still the same..at first, i thought that my prayer had been answered since i got the opportunity to do something else..but then, i keep contemplating whether i should go for it or not..my only fear is that they could send me anywhere as far as Sabah for this one..but i wanna be near my hometown.........

and i need to decide by the end of this month, which is only two weeks away......

this is the part of being an adult that i hate the most: making decision!

Bersopan la sikit

I was at a pharmacy this afternoon to buy some supplement and an SA came to me asking whether I needed any help. Well, I think he's doing a good job, unlike typical msians' SAs who would just stare and stand beside u..that's not the main point for this post..

After paying my stuff, I told him that I wanted to redeem a free stuff from some stickers collection that I had since i-dont-know-when..Then he went to the back store to get it..I waited for him at the cashier..then came a man nagging:

Man: mane ni takde orang jaga?nak bayar pon xde orang..nasib la selalu beli kat sini..

duuhh..he was only there at the cashier for  one second and started nagging..at least he should have asked me first since I was waiting there..malas mau layan that man, I just waited there..Less than thirty secs later, the SA came with my free gift..he went to the cashier and the man nagged again...

Man: ape ni..saya tunggu lama kat sini takde org jaga..nasib la saya slalu beli kat sini..saya kenal sama bos kamu kat sini..

then i gave the way to that man so that the SA could serve him first..he smiled to that man and said, " maaf..saya kat belakang ambil ni"

Man: saya tegur ni untuk kebaikan jugak..kalo takde orang jaga takde orang mau beli nanti..

well, if u read, kinda sounds polite..but I heard the other way around..i'd feel irritated if i were the SA..the SA's smile faded..when it's time he served me i said, "jgn risau, u're doing a great job anyway"....

guess what, he smiled back..

anyway, this is not a tip to flirt with a guy..it's just a simple technique in handling people..

typical human being would only see the bad things despite of the good things that one person/thing has..and, do u know that it's rare(especially in my home country) hearing someone being appreciated, when everyone in this world 'craves' to be appreciated?think back...

i gave the man compliment sincerely since he deserved that..it's not a mere flatter..it's to appreciate that he's doing his job so that he didn't feel bad all day bout what happened earlier........

I am Not Perfect

"Ko ni takde kelemahan la", said a colleague..exactly the same words...it was after he showed me some problems on his Excel document, and I helped him to correct it..

oh no..don't view me like that..you don't know me enough if you don't see my flaws..

I am not perfect...I'm just a fast learner, I think.....

my beloved daddy said what???

*Kg. Tg. Lumpur*

once upon a weekend.....
me: pa, what if i want to further my study overseas??
dad: where to?
me: australia maybe?
dad: RMIT is a good school....but..if u want to, get married first so someone can take care of you there..
me: .................???? *oh no, he is serious*

When the morning is delayed on a weekend

Rise and shine!
oh, it's afternoon already and i was waken up by a phone call by someone asking for the room for rent..i'm currently looking for a housemate since the previous one decided to work in kl..need to find one to share the rent n bills..alone again and my weekend seems to be in front of the tv watching movies from the astro's channel..that if i get too lazy to go out..

Staying alone, some people would ask this one particular question: "tak sunyi ke??"and the answer would be "nope"..to be honest, i like it since i'm free doing anything i like, and do not need to get approval from anyone else of how the house looks like..coz there's some time i would leave my laptop, bags, books and magazines scattered on the living room's floor..i know that it could be an eye sore for most people..

besides, staying alone teaches me lots of things..especially the being truly independent part..when i'm living with my parents, i dont need to worry much bout the bills, laundry, or groceries..lets say when i'm out of milk at night, it would be in the fridge the next morning when i'm at my parents'..but now, having my fridge empty would mean that i need to get out and buy some groceries..i also don't wake up finding out that my breakfast is already on the table..furthermore, i need to cook for myself coz i would get sick of the outside's food..i also need to do my own laundry at least twice a week..and every month, i need to collect all the bills and pay them at the post office..talk bout responsibilities for my own self..money seems to flow out easily each month..

accompanying the previous question would be the typical suggestion: "kahwin je la cepat2, kan senang"..urmm, it's not as easy as saying it..haven't thought bout it yet since i haven't found my 'mr right'..i'm not ready to get married yet coz i wanna get over my studies first, probably in two years..i know that many friends or relatives my age already ended their single status..and almost 96% of my colleagues are married and have or yet to have children..i don't want to put any pressure on that matter(i know most typical malay women my age would worry much bout it..some would even cry over it..duuhhh)..and i'm glad my parents do support me 100% on finishing up my studies first..but i will always keep in mind that, "manusia hanya merancang, Allah menentukan segalanya..."

need to continue doing some chores..it's Sunday and and everyone knows what comes the day after....

bookstore oh bookstore

It's 4am and I still cant sleep..guess that my thought of waking up early and go to the TC beach for morning fresh air would only just be a picture in my mind...maybe next time kot..

seems that this blog has been so long outdated...not bcos i didnt have time for it...i actually didn't have any word for it...

i realized something about Kuantan yesterday: there is no decent bookstore here to find varieties of books..yeah, surprisingly books are my new passions besides shoes nowadays..well, not going to elaborate on that..went to popular bookstore in megamall kuantan yesterday(guess that's the biggest bookstore i ever seen here)..i was looking for 'practise for ielts' book, but couldnt find any..the Language section only had dictionaries in various languages and books for improving english..no specific exercise books for higher exams..frustated, i went to east coast mall, which i know there's only a slight chance to find the book there..and to no surprise, when i asked the SA, she said "sini tak ada jual buku exam peringkat tinggi"..and i know she has no idea what ielts is...
this make me miss going back home where i could just go to mph midvalley or alamanda where i'm sure there're lots of such book that i'm looking for..where the heck can i find mph in kuantan????the exam is in just 5 days!guess i'll find some other way to study......

so cliche

It's easy to get friends who will have fun together..but whenever there's a hard time for you, they'll just leave you on your own...so unthoughtful....

mode: sakit hati